Do you ever just feel at peace, and think this won’t last?
There is that fear that something else might come along and steal that peace.
I want to trust and know that this peace, is a gift from God, the peace giver.
So here I sit, by our Christmas tree Olaf, basking in his peace.
Memories from within this house, begin to flood my mind from the past few years…
One night around thanksgiving a couple years ago Shane, Sonja and I made the trek to Home Depot for our first house Christmas tree. It was a Fraser fir, so fittingly we named it Nigel. There’s pictures of me holding it over my head (Shane was holding the tip to help a little). I remember pulling out my small shoe box of ornaments my mom had sent. By sight it wasn’t much to contribute, but together our 603 family filled that Christmas tree full of life lived and memories. Each ornament, each with a story.
It was here that I remember talking with Shane and Sonja about possibly pursuing my pastoral license, Shane said, “why not? It is just an official expression, of what you are already doing?”
These rooms have been filled with music. Jared would skillfully draw the bow across the strings of his double base. Amie or Sonja and now Stephen and Charla beautifully stroke the keys of the piano. Unlike my roommates, I play the guitar behind close doors, honoring my King, but still a little timid to share it with anyone else (I know they can hear it through the walls of my room ;)). Then, there are times where the record player is going or someone’s iPhone or iPad. Music has been there to usher in peace when needed, to bring joy to my heart, and just fill the silence when it has become so overpowering and loud. Last one on music, I am pretty sure that I harmonized once with Shane and Sonja, for a moment…then, lol
The kitchen has been filled with amazing smells as we all try our hand at cooking or baking, and everyone is always willing to share. I will miss impromptu pizza nights, followed by Dominion, I will miss my roommates begging me to stay up late to continue playing, when they would have a snow day or a holiday that I didn’t, even though I had to be up at 7 AM. I never really regretted sacrificing sleep for those moments.
I will miss coming home after a long and exhausting day, where my words are few, and all we do is sit and watch a show together. Though many times each of us had to work or study, it was ok. Just spending time in each other’s presence was enough.
As I write I am sad that this season of my life is coming to an end, but I have a peace that I can’t explain right now. An anticipation and excitement for what God has in store. There is no angst, no dread of heading to work tomorrow morning…I know it won’t be like this forever, but I am taking this time to write it down. To remember this moment, so when things get rough, I can remember that there is such a thing as a peace that passes all understanding. I will fight for it.
Lots of prayers have been said in this house. From wrestling with God during some pretty big storms, healing prayers, deliverance, and prayers of joy, hope and victory.
We wanted this home to be a place where people could come, rest, and find God here. It truly has. We have seen many people walk through our doors. Lots of fellowship, and Lives changed.
I guess that’s why I love to write. Records to go back on, memories to relive, dreams renewed, love restored, etc.
So I will sit still for a while longer, bask in this moment. And thank God for all of his blessings: past, present and future.